From the Heart is a space for the reflections of our staff on issues that matter to them, to our network, and most importantly, to those we walk alongside.
The experience of disability is something I have considered most days for as long as I can remember. In the mid 1980’s, after 15 years devoted to raising us kids, Mom returned to work. She began as an Educational Assistant (EA) alongside students with disabilities. For over 20 years she shared stories of how she enjoyed her work. A photo given to her by one of her favorite students still sits on her piano.
In grade 11, I found my way to volunteering as a swim coach with Special Olympics. I experienced many gifts as a part of that team. I couldn’t name them at the time, but I remember how they felt. One swimmer in particular wore his heart on his sleeve. He was so honest. He could feel joy and sadness within the same minute and didn’t hide either. I felt a kinship with him. Looking back, he was one of my first teachers in learning about having courage with our vulnerabilities.
I often saw two of those athletes I coached in my high school. They spent part of their day in the resource centre. I’d go there on occasion to visit, talk with resource teachers and login to the “Choices Career Software” trying figure out what I was going to do with my life. As my grade 11 year came to a close, I had come to know a few of the teachers and some new students in the resource centre. I had not however found my calling, not in in the Choices computer software anyway.
One lunch hour near the beginning of 12th grade, as I walked the halls with 1,400 fellow students, I witnessed a female classmate who had a developmental disability being ridiculed by a large group of students. One led the bullying and others joined in laughing at her. Sadly, she laughed with them, as if she was an equal in the group. I was so heartbroken. It came out as anger. I didn’t know how to cope with that and so Friday the following week, I left the school for good, or so I thought.
I went on to find my place in a much smaller school. I graduated and I found a bit more comfort in my own skin too. The memory of that October lunch hour has always remained. I think of my classmate who had been bullied. And I think of the bully and how he saw ridiculing someone else as a path to creating belonging for himself. I have compassion for him now also.
After graduation, I returned to my first high school the following year to begin my career working as an EA alongside students (some of them already friends) with physical and developmental disabilities and autism. I went on to work in four schools with kids of all ages. The last student I supported before leaving my work as an EA remains one of my closest friends (and teachers).
In the three decades since, I’ve held a variety of roles. A Pediatric Clinical Assistant, a Respite Worker, a Massage Therapist specializing in sensitive nervous system care, an Easter Seals Event Coordinator and now a Mindfulness and Compassion Practice Facilitator and Spiritual Health Practitioner with St.Amant. Every day offers me the privilege to know more about my sense of self, to find purpose and meaning in life and to find belonging in sharing my values with others. This is spiritual health defined, the very the work I do in accompanying others.
Regardless of our beliefs, our health or our abilities, we all search to connect with the spirit of life. As health and human service professionals in any role, we tend to our spirit through our valued work everyday. And we have the privilege of accompanying others to dismantle barriers that they face to being their best selves too. What a gift! And each day I practice gratitude for everyone who has helped me find my way here, to a vocation rooted in empathy, compassion and a common humanity. The deep blessings of a good life. Thanks Mom xo
Andrew Terhoch is a Spiritual Care Practitioner at St.Amant and a Mindfulness and Self-compassion facilitator for Réseau Compassion Network.