From the Heart

29 November, 2023 | From the Heart

From the Heart is a space for the reflections of our staff on issues that matter to them, to our network, and most importantly, to those we walk alongside.

This month, our Chief Financial Officer, Bob Lafrenière, reflects on the fire that ruined his son’s home, and all the surprising kindness and compassion that followed.

On a late October night, the doorbell rang at the home where Bob and his wife Rachel live. Not expecting any visitors, they were surprised to open the door to their son, his wife, their two young children and the family dog. His son Eric’s home, located across the street from them, was on fire. The damage resulted in a near total loss of the home, and a deep sense of gratitude for the generosity of their community.

Réseau Compassion Network (RCN): Can you share a bit about the experience your son and his family have lived since the fire? 

Bob Lafrenière (BL): When you think about your home, it’s really your anchor. It’s the place where you feel safe, where you express yourself, and where you make beautiful memories with your family. To lose that can be truly overwhelming and traumatizing. There is still a lot of uncertainty moving forward, but we believe that, as they say: “this, too, shall pass.” Eric and his family have moved in with us for the time being, which is nice for all of us. The kids are very little, they’re both under three. The older one keeps seeing his house and saying, “maison cassé” or “broken house.” It’s honestly hard for anyone to wrap their head around this, especially for a little tyke.

Eric Lafrenière, his wife Homa, along with their children
and dog, relax at Bob and Rachel’s house.

RCN: Even as the fire was active, you started to feel the effect of community care. Tell us more about that.

BL: It started with the firefighters. They see this all the time; it would be easy for them to see this as just another day. But for our family, it’s a life-changing day. The professionalism of the first responders was outstanding. I expected them to do a good job, but I didn’t expect the kindness they showed to my son and his wife. There were still two cats in the house, and it took a few hours, but they were able to find them. There was one firefighter in particular who came over just to check in with us. “Don’t worry, this can be rebuilt,” he said. They put themselves in our shoes and that kindness was unexpected. It really stuck out in my mind.

Then, within a day or two, as word got out, the kindness and generosity of our neighbours began to flow. Individually or from groups, we received clothing for the kids, gift cards for the adults, packages of toys and books. Friends and family have been so supportive which is no surprise and so appreciated, but it was the neighbours pulling together that was really overwhelming. It’s a difficult time for my son’s family and knowing that people, even those who barely know them, care…it helps alleviate the emotional side of the fire.

RCN: Facing a situation like this must really make you pause and take stock of your life and your priorities. What has come up for you since the fire?

BL: I know I already said it, but I keep coming back to “this, too, shall pass.” I’ve been thinking about the impermanence of things, regardless of what they are. Relationships, material goods, successes, and failure… at some point, those things won’t be there, no matter who you are. It’s a reminder that you’re not defined by what you own or what you have. Gratitude, family and contentment, those are things that last. And I’m thankful for that.

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