My family and I had a difficult winter this year. As the cold weather arrived, and within a month and a half, I lost two people near and dear to me.
At the end of November, my mother-in-law, Louise Clark, passed away after a 16-month journey with cancer. In her final months, she was cared for at Riverview Health Centre, and while my wife Aileen was more present for appointments and the like, I certainly spent a lot of time visiting with her and experienced her palliative care journey.
I was struck by a few things and what I can say is this: we at Réseau Compassion Network certainly don’t have the monopoly on compassionate care. The way she was treated, the way we were all treated was nothing short of amazing. I always understood cerebrally that you had to be a special person to work in palliative care, but to witness it, it was something truly special. Nurses and health care aides, and all types of staff: they prayed with us, they cried with us, they were truly with us through our entire experience.
After Louise’s passing, I lived the experience again a month and a half later, as my father Gerald (Gerry) Dorge passed away at Riverview, and also of cancer. His journey was quite a bit shorter; he was diagnosed in September, 2024, and passed on January 13th, 2025.
Because his illness progressed so quickly, I only met his oncologist once, and the single treatment attempted didn’t go well. Dad ended up at Health Sciences Centre for about a month. He was lacking oxygen and we knew that he was in a bad spot. We knew we had to get him home so that he could have the option of getting into palliative care. We did our best to do that, and to make him comfortable. He was released from the hospital just after New Years, and we thought that maybe he could stay home with some extra support. Even with Home Care services four times a day, it was too much for my mom. He was home from the hospital on a Thursday, and by the following Wednesday, he was admitted to Riverview. He passed on the next Monday. It was all very quick.
But again…those nurses. There was one in particular who I’ve really come to think of as an angel. You can’t actually believe that there are people like that in the world, who give and care so freely. When I think about how they work in those environments every day, and they are still able to find the compassion, patience and deep caring for every single patient and their loved ones, I am amazed and moved.
As I reflect on these two experiences, the touchpoints I had with the health care system were very positive. Especially with my dad, as I was closer to the details of his care. Everyone was so thorough, so caring and answered all his questions. I truly have nothing but good things to say, particularly about the folks who work in palliative care; that was an incredible level of humanity on display.
I’ve also had some time to reflect on the support I received here at work. I had to attend a lot of appointments, and I tried to get to the hospital every day. My work probably suffered, in fact, it almost surely did, but I was never made to feel like that was an issue.
I was so touched by the outpouring of support after both of their passings. Yes, the immediate team at Réseau Compassion Network was there with their kind words, hugs and supportive presence. But then there was the network, generally: I received messages from our board, other boards, CEOs and leaders. There were people I heard from that I never would have expected: people who knew my father years ago, and even Soeur Aurore from the Grey Nuns reached out. It was really comforting to know that I was supported by so many.
It goes to show that the values that we talk about and try to live are real. They’re not just words on a poster. When it comes down to it, we are part of a very caring, compassionate network and our health care systems are full of people who are called to walk alongside us in difficult times. I am so grateful to all those who supported me, and so grateful to be working among such good and kind people.
– Stéphane Dorge